According to Greek mythology, upon crossing to the underworld the dead would drink from the river Lethe, instantly forgetting their former lives. Interestingly, those who drink from the river Thames have excellent memories, but find it hard to concentrate on one subject for long. They can become inordinately talkative, begin to crave cigarettes, and notice a marked reduction in appetite.
This has to be related somehow.
Apparently Teen Wolf has transferred to Earlsboro, OK.
Oh please Oh please Oh please
Finally, a new-feature proposal for Friendster:
An adorable new-ish feature allows Friendster users to send other Friendster users a "smile." Specifically, they receive the following message: "[Dick/Jane] has sent you a smile. [Dick/Jane] wants to brighten your day with a smile. Check out [Dick/Jane]'s profile and send a reply."
The proposal is simple. Obvious, even. People need more options; other sentiments, truer preformatted emotions, more creative emoticons. Here are some possibilities:
"[Dick/Jane] has sent you a middle finger. [Dick/Jane] finds you irritating and/or downright offensive and wants to express [his/her] disdain for you. Do nothing. Simply live with the knowledge that you are disliked."
"[Dick/Jane] has licked [his/her] lips and whistled at you. [Dick/Jane] is impressed by the [nice rack/bulge/ass] you're showing off in your profile image(s) and would sincerely appreciate the opportunity to break [him/her] off a piece of that."
For the more artistic types, "[Dick/Jane] has sent you a piece of [his/her] ear. [Dick/Jane] needs you to understand the intensity of [his/her] devotion to you. Check out [Dick/Jane]'s profile and perhaps purchase some artwork."
"[Dick/Jane] has sent you a restraining order. [Dick/Jane] feels threatened by your repeated advances and/or stalking and wants to get Friendster officials involved. You are hereby ordered to remain at least two degrees of Friends away from [Dick/Jane] at all times." [Additional options: Why not an array of helpful legal documents? "[Dick/Jane] has filed a paternity suit" has a nice ring to it.]
[Dick/Jane] has just tossed your virtual salad. [Dick/Jane] has just added some real spice to your day by performing a deeply intimate and deliciously bawdy sexual act on you. Check out [Dick/Jane]'s profile and maybe return the favor with [a reacharound/cunnilingus/a hearty spanking]."
...and so on. It is precisely this kind of targeted interactivity and virtual community-building that will keep Friendster ahead of the online-network curve for years to come.
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